My name is Peanut and I'm Erin's cat. Hi. I'm writing more becuz I like it. Maybe I have her writing gene. Although, technikly Erin and I aren't related becuz she adopted me. or "rescued" me. I prefer adopted. Rescued seems like I was trapped in a burning litter box and she came and got me. Anyway, check this out. I just got yelled at. my muther raised her voice at me big time. Erin and her girlfriend Monica went to New Mexico for three dayz so Erin could tell jokes to a lot of people in a theater. I know she likes performing in theaters becuz she always says "I like performing in theaters". Anyway, I was left alone for THREE days and then I got yelled at. And to think I was excited to see them. I heard their key in the door, so I put down my copy of "Co-dependent No More" and ran to greet them. Two minutes later, my muther got really upset. Apparently, I had broken her Becky Hammon bobble head doll.
I guess Becky Hammon is her favorite WNBA player. heres the thing though. Becky was wearing her NY Liberty outfit. She doeznt even play for the liberty anymore. She got traded to the San Antonio Silver Stars. which, by the way, is the wurst mascot. a silver star is the fourth highest military decoration given out. how does that fit with womenz basketball? does some chick dress up as a medal and cheer from the sidelines? jeez lueeze. I think they should call them the san Antonio saddles or the san Antonio sassy spuds. The point is, isn't my muther a little too old to have a becky hammon bobble head doll wearing an old jersey? apparently not. she was pissed.
I obviously didn't mean to break it. I just liked it when I took my paw and swatted the head cuz it went up and down. I'd never seen anything like this before. It was exciting. So I swatted her head, again and again and again. And then the damn thing flew off the dresser, smashing it. Just like that, Becky Hammons feet were no longer attached to her body. which makes it hard for her to shoot her three pointers. mol (meowing out loud). And, yeah, I'm not supposed to be on the dresser, but I'm not supposed to be left unsupervised, right? did ya see "Adventures in babysitting"? stuff happens.
I kind of liked having three days to myself. sometimz I feel like my muther Erin is way too overprotective. I'll just be lying there, lethargic, becuz I'm a freakin cat, and she'll come over and say, "are you ok baby peanut? do you feel ok"? and then she touches my nose. what's that all about? If I felt like shit would my nose feel different? I doubt it. That's all for now. I'm exhausted. I think it's the heat. Why do I have so much fur? You'd think during the whole evolution thing California catz would have thinner fur. Nope. My fur is so thick. How thick is it? My fur is thicker than yur mama's head. I'm working on yur mama jokes. This is my new one. Your mamma's so chunky that she ate Donovan McNabb's muther.